Questions.

Crept in a minute late- knew I should set an alarm on my phone.

I could tell that I wasn't gonna have any ideas ofr what to write tonite. I still don't, and don't feel the same flow from the first two nights already. Some of that could be the odd sleeping habits (worn out from the eye doc, etc.) that's left my brain kinda sluggish most the day. Oh well; Rome wasn't built in a day, or something.

A big problem is that there's a lot of conflict. Everyone is human, everyone has their experiences. I've seen 'Write every day, no matter what', and I've seen 'Write when you're inspired'. There's 'develop a lengthy backstory for every character, outline evvery plot detail, and construct every scene', and there's 'structuring leads to rigid boundaries and can restrict you too much'.

So, I've gotta figure where I lie (lay? yay grammar), I know I wanted to start a structured time, to force myself to start writing. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have written what I did last night. Granted it's no work of art or anything worth more than a pretty little blog post, but it's the first real bit of creativity I've done in quite a while. (I think the last was mixing logic and creativity in some coding on Aardwolf, which was long ago now.)

So, we'll say that at least in the time aspect, structure is good.

How about character, plot, etc.? Hmm.... (I'm not writing while I'm thinking this through- is that bad? I should just keep writing, since this is writing time, after all.) I like the idea of a defined character. It's not like things can't be changed, until you end up going into a big long series of novels or something, and even then there's that lovely (sarcastic) little deus ex machina. Especially in the worlds of fantasy, tere's a lot that could go on. Doubly so when we're talking about the immortals themselves that are the ones being documented and interacting with each other.

What would I like to do? Do I really have a focus at this point? I love some of my old ideas, I love playing with gods and their avatars. I remember the spark of creation I wrote way back in high school. But then, where do I go from there?

Plot. Plotty plot plot. How I hate thee. I can figure something out when I need to (I'm surprised I actually got through a kinda-plot with Schpantz)... but this is really where I need some work. What goes on? Conflict, duh... but what kinda conflict?

Do I waste my ability because everything's done? I know everything's not DONE done, but what's original? What will be that spark that makes things different, that would make my writing that much different than someone else's to make it worth the while of reading? I don't see a lot of point in reading the same old thing written by someone else.

So where does that leave me? With a lot of questions. What's my little niche? What should I do about the feelings that I need that niche? Maybe there's more research to be done. I can balance it with school (I mean, it's almost done anyway, and it's not SOOOO difficult to do one last project and a few more bits of homework for that class anyway). I've got quiet time on a regular basis. I've got the ability to write, once I get the idea. So, I guess it's a matter of working on my creativity some more.

There's always the snackdragon. I lost the focus again, like everything else, on that one once I got to the point I'd actually have to start being creative. I'm not that creative. I need to work on creativity. (I'm witty, but my wit is recycled commentary. My other ideas are not 'start from the ground up', they're 'modify idea A into something new'. I don't want to be modifying, I want to create.

Magic/fantasy appeal to me. So does the idea of primitive man, for some reason. Aztec culture. (Hmm. That's too rigid. The ideas are already there, and it's set boundaries.)

Me make pretty drawings with stick. That let others draw their own ideas. Me smart!

Maybe I'll have to pull out the inner caveman and see where that goes. I mean, I know more about what goes on in their minds (well, kinda)- at least compared to a friggin' pair of jeans.

Just need that breakthrough idea. Or, figure out a way to stop with these self-imposed roadblocks. Honestly, I can do this. ...I hope.


(Side note- next time I'm starting a few mins later to go pee beforehand if I have to. Lack of focus baaaad. And, some tell me, fire goooood.)