Jul 6, 2011

The Babylon Project was our last, best hope for peace. It failed.

So did this. I'm not surprised, really. I can't string a bunch of ideas together, much less come up with them time and time again.

I could probably write B5 fanfic after wasting a month or so of nights watching the series (damn good once I got back into it), but that's one of those things that doesnt' really work well unless you've got all the technical details. You can get something wrong and get harped on for technical inaccuracies. (I guess same applies to an fanfic, though.)

That dragon story still kidna bounces around in my head, but again... what do I do with it? Where do I go with it? It's the same problem as any other writing, except this time I don't even have the point B I usually do.

There's a 30 Day Song Challenge on Facebook. I haven't stared that cuz I ddin't think I'd make it through all 30 days in succession. They need a 30 day writing challenge, though. Maybe I'll go back to that plot generator. I dunno.

Just feel like I'm wasting some talent here, or wasting time that could be put to better use. And whining about it doesn't help, either.

But, at least that's something... it's the first I've written i na month or so, so it's a start, no matter how crappy. Rome wasn't built in a day... right?

May 3, 2011

I'm not dead! ...yet.

I haven't forgotten, or given up on, this endeavor. However, even NyQuil-infused dreams can't spark my creativity. So, I listen to my brain thud against my skull like a dull rock instead. (Well, whatever brains I'm not busy expelling into a kleenex, at least.)

Upon my mom telling our pastor she wasn't going to be in church for a few months after a cornea transplant, the pastor's response was, 'People will use anything as an excuse not to go to church'. I guess this applies to me, too. I know I don't have the craftiness yet, not at the point I want; I don't want to spend half my posts bitching about not being able to come up with something. I don't have, but also dont' need, the dedication just yet. I'll suffer through these allergies/colds/whatever-they-are and move on after that, with a detour here if I find a moment of clarity, or something zany enough to write about.

(Porivded I remember it- I think I had a dream about the Mythbusters this afternoon, but it's gnoe now.)

Apr 28, 2011

I'm not dead!

No giving up, just completely spaced about doing an update yesterday. Not part of my everyday routine quite yet.

My mind keeps going back to a gold dragon that's enslaved by a town (or so he leads them to believe). They captured him as a hatchling, and so he grew up with the townsfolk. He doesn't threaten them directly, but does make vague comments that could be construed badly. Being a good dragon, though, he doens't really go through with any threats (except when provoked, like by those pesky knights always trying to save townsfolk that aren't disappearing into his den (though try to convince those guys of that)).

I can kinda picture him, kinda have an idea of tthe town. I don't have any idea for the name, or what to do about beingin the town, except maybe facing a few of those onslaughts. The villagers feed him, but I have a feeling he sneaks some sheep in on the side. Or maybe something else... the wool probably tickles on the way down. (Good for a kleenex, though.)

The lack of name is bugging me, for some reason- evn though I don't know what to do with him, apparently he wants some sort of definition and reason for sitting around in my mind, nwo that I've gotten him there.

Hmm, maybe he's a little more confused than first imagined.... golden body with a red underbelly. Maybe he dyes his scales to make people think he's friendly... or to hide his age? (I guess that idea doesnt' fly too well, though, if they captured him as a hatchling.)

I guess if Here There Be Dragons, there need to Be other Dragons Here. Territory conflicts with other dragons? Finding his parents? Getting out of the village and touring the world?

Nothing is sticking out, at least at the moment. Then again, I'm also having some problems making sure fingers are on the right keys. The upper row is too far to reach with current tired state. Leads to a lack of focus, too. (If I crash, it's a Good Thing, though... I really really really need to catch up on sleep.)I'll have to remember to read this tomorrow and maybe I can figure out an idea to expand upon. Even with another late start (I really need to set an alarm), am definitely slipping pretty bad now. Now, to just see myself sleep until morning instead of just napping.

Oh well, at least I got something in today. I didn't get the full time, but am still going, rather than two days of break. Dont' want that. I think I'm enjoying this....

Apr 26, 2011

More of the same.

I need to start reading previous night's blogs. I think I was forming an idea last night, but cant' remember it now, and feel unispired yet again.

Just answered a Y!A question before starting this, about Final Fantasy. Some of the storylines are so incredible, lengthy, and interesting. Granted, a few kinda go overboard (I've been playing more FFXIV adnd still dont' remember if Pulse or cocoon is bad, or fel'Cie vs l'Cie or whatever-the-hell-they are), but most of the storylines are really pretty solid. That'd be interesting to read as a book.

Poor sleeping habits probably aren't helping, eiter. Body seems to think bedtime at 2-4am is naptime instead. I still get enough sleep, just at the wrong times. My mind is awake now, I guess, but I don't know when the creativity really hits; maybe it's something that needs more time to start up.

I could start writing for longer, but on nights like tonight, I think it'd be mroe frustrating than anything. I know I've been spending more time looking at the clock, happy that it's done, rather than lost in my story. Maybe it's just an external mental attitude towards a lot of things....

(And old habits are dying hard, too... I just blanked for half a second and then hit the numpad to look and scan like I do when bored on Aard. Tsk tsk tsk.)

I think I'm done writing 'don't know what to write' posts. I'll start using one of the plotline generators if I have to. Writing the same 'not writing' stuff over and over turns me off like any other complaining. So, no more of that. (After tonight.)

Damn commercials, now I want Taco Bell. I really wish I didn't, because I absolutely hate the ocmmercial that's on. (I hope that's the point.) Bah! Maybe tomorrow, maybe Friday... (really gotta figure what's where).

For now, though... I'll try to figure out somthing els to distract me. I actually started my IS homework, so that's at least something kinda creative, in some tech way.

Apr 25, 2011

Ho hum

Nothing over the weekend, like I planned. I don't think I had any new ideas anyway.

I was playing Portal 2 and thought about writing from the perspective of a sentient pile of garbage (no euphamism here, I mean a dumpster full of trash). Then again, I did the inanimate thing, so maybe I'll find something else.

Maybe I'll go for the dragon. It's not really outta my realm of comfort, but I can at least put together a series of events, which is where I need the most work anyway. (I still have to do my IS homework (web page) and then my writing homework (plot development).)

Distractions seem to be a good thing. I notice I'm being ditracted and focus and write more, rather than sitting there in the quiet, wondering about the quiet. Too many distractions, though; between sleeping oddly, bit of hunger, and mood from past few days, it's really not a creatively condusive day.

No way I could stop at just one week, though. Maybe I'll add more into my regimen... since I'm on a schedule, I can affix things to it, like pills I hsould be taking.

I don't know why it's so hard to get myself to keep writing. I don't want to, mostly cuz I don't have any ideas I suppose. I neeed to exercise my creativity. I also need to find the source of omnom nom smoke grilly stuffs, cuz it's drivin' me nuts.

Hippitus hoppitus, hilarious South Park. I'm not that funny. I have a few reactionary comments but so much of my stuff is recycled. I really need to find my muse again. I know I wrote the story where I took control of it, but I dunno if I still have it or not. (It didn't help at the time, but maybe this is a better method of control.)

Part of me is saying cut this short, cuz I can't think, and part of me wants to see it through. Eyelids are heavy (don't know why, I slept fourish hours this morning and six or eight this afternoon). Mush mush mush.

Marie found a stuffed cow out on the street, and it sat on top of the washer for a week or wto before she finally washed it for me. I wonder what his story is. Is it moooo-ving? It's cute, and now we have another inhabitant for the living room (on top of the 3 or 4 already out here and probably about two dozen still packed). He looks kinda like my big squishable/squeezable/whatever one. Then again, stuffed cows generally come in two forms, either the kind that sits or the giant Pomerenian ball-of-softness-with-legs. I've got plenty of both, hehee.

Oh yay, the whores are out again. I can't help but laugh (and cry in envy) over the two-dollar-per-message sexting things that've popped up. You never knew for sure with a phone line, and now you don't even see who's behind the cell! How gullible can people be? (I guess plenty, since they can afford to advertise almost as often as drug commercials.)

Mad Madam Mim! Purple dragons and such nonsense. Or even better, Alice in Wonderland. I'll have to find the e-book and try to read it, until I get stuck on the blingerfarnth oddball made-up word. I wonder how all these authors 'broke through' with their various forms of nonsense. I don't think that happens much more nowadays.

Maybe a bit of IS homework, some sleep, and then work on being up better ttimes / sleeping in one bunch (seems like I've lost that the past week or two). Lack of sleep is definitely not helping the process. I'll have to make sure I'm more fed next time, too.

Overall, though... this is a nice time to write. Distraction or not, tired or not, I can keep up with it. I'm looking forward to having less fluff like tonight and more working on details, but it's taking a while to get the creative engine running. I'll just have to remember I started out with Schpantzz almost right away, so the creativity IS in there somewhere.

Apr 22, 2011

Trying, trying, trying.

I think I had an idea earlier, but my brain's gone all fuzzy this evening. I wanna keep going, but have to figure out what's going on. I do have another outlet for creativity; I've got some IS homework (website creation) to do over the next few weeks.

Distraction's a definite hinderance tonight, even with not being interested in what's on. Le sigh.

Hmm. Graham cracker house in a candy city. I guess Snackdragon is still meddling around somewhere. Human inhabitants or is everyone else made of candy? I don't think I ever looked at that before. I knew there were villagers, but never got who/what they were. (I think I'm sticking with humans on this one, though. Candy people just seem a bit too rough on the old noggin tonight.)

So, we've got a little gingerbread hovel. Nibbles outta the side frrom starving inhabitants. Ceiling's missing in a few spots (that nasty milk rain soaked through the crackers in a few spots). Iced windows, and a bush of gumpdrops outside.

It's not much of a home, but Yurel is proud to call it his. Every day, he scrounges for work. He's done it all- washed dishes down at the bar, tilled the rough ground to plant young seedlings, and even taken care of that rodent problem that cropped up a while back. He knows about the Snackdragon- everyone in town has- but he's never seen it. It doesn't bother him though; Yurel just goes on his way, earning his scraps to keep his home from falling to pieces.

He'll be the one giving the kids a place to stay. Soft-taffy floors aren't much, but it's at least something more than the hard ground to sleep on.

There's an inn, too. Made from reinforced sandwich cookies, it's a lot more sturdy. There's always activity in there, but since they sell chocolate liquor, the kids aren't allowed. Yurel will have to do the nosing around in there for them, but that'll take a bit of his trust, and some contributing to the workload.

*Keeping up with the candy theme is gonna be a little harder than I thought.)

I really want the kids to make the adventure into the cave/tower/whatever on their own, but somehow need a companion for most of the trip. The classic befuddled-stranger-walking-by-on-the-road thing comes to mind, but sounds too simple and planned.

Maybe a trapper will catch them, bring them home, and turn out to be more helpful than first played. Hrm.

Damn plot lines! Quit overthinking this stuff. It can always be changed, too.

Mmm, chocolate. Good thing it's easter- gotta have more sugar for research! *nod self*

And for not having focus, I did take up the half hour I wanted. Guess it's going easier than I thought. I don't have the must-write-or-else kinda feeling (in fact, kinda wasn't sure I was gonna tonight), but I'll keep pressing on.

Apr 21, 2011

Snackdragon ...and nostalgia

Trying somethign different today- again, distractions are okay, no they aren't, whatever. I've got Mythbusters on in the background, kinda interested so trying to see how much attention I'll pay to each. (I'm already noticing I'm writing thoughts kinda on autopilot and listening. I don't knwo if that's a good thing or a bad thing, either.....)

Anyway, the Snackdragon. I've got the story started, a 'challenge' to step outside my comfort zone. The Snackdragon itself is a parody of the snack vacuum, one of the D&D Player Archetypes. I'm pretty sure Steve had the original idea, but I think I took it and twisted it a little bit. Instead of a dragon that breathes cupcakes as a breath weapon, I pictued a dragon made out of snacks, out of a candy-land style universe. Hostess-style white stripes on a black chocolate body, candy corn teeth, candy button eyes. Maybe gumdrops for spikes, but I think the frosting works better.

So, what does it do? In my story, it's captured a brother and sister's mother. I don't really knowwhy, or what he plans on doing. It's just the whole 'evil dragon' thing. (Dragons get such a bad rap. They don't ALL terrorize towns and stuff, ya know?)

...In fact, how many stories are there about the lawful dragons? You read the typical fantasy stuff, Shrek-style storybook dragon-guarding-tower or terrorizing-people/towns, etc. I wonder if there are any stories about lawful dragons and what they do. I suppose being a goody-two-shoes is probably boring until you add in some other element (maybe some bad dragons, maybe some evil magician trying to control you? hmmmmmm...). It'd be interesting to read something on it, though.

Anyway, the whole snackdragon thing was going to be a pretty ... cliche... 'dont' eat sweets before bed' kinda tale. Like eerything else, I dunno where to go with it, though. I know they eventually have to get to, and probably slay, the snackdragon, but still lost on the process of getting there once they get into the candy world.

Back to the dragon, though- what's he do? I guess claws of some material... maybe shooting streams of silly string? It's kinda hard to be lethal with a body made of squishy cupcake material, and you can climb outta silly string with no real problem. I guess there could be traps, too... a tower of plush giant marshmallow-illed golems, chocolate (not black) puddings, some sort of pit traps with more marshmallow fluff? There's gotta be more ideas there.

And do I go all-out cheesy/cliche with a Toothbrush +4, Flossing? I guess it'd be pretty easy to convert to a D&D setting, heh. Something to do, I guess... submit it for an April issue of Dungeon, if that magazine even exists. (I think I still have an old April issue from late 90's around here somewhere. I remember the cover.) ...Ooh, the Accidentals! Now I've gotta find those, too. The fizzle, zot, snafu, gremlin... ahh, yes. (I guess I can be creative, once in a while.)

TV on is definitely distracting, but it doesn't help that I'm running outta thoughts. I've got more ideas for the snackdragon story, so maybe I'll think more on that. Give some things a chance to fall into place. (I guess this is working, on some level- I don't think I would've even tried to do more with the story otherwise.)

Maybe it's comfort level. I can picture putting it into module setting, and I know that well. Have I maybe found my niche? I remember the journals of our D&D adventures, and they were fun to do too. Going from the other side, though... maybe that's the step I need to tkae.

(On a side note, now I miss D&D gaming. Especially the game at Parkside. When's the next Saturday I can pick up a loaf of Italian bread from Super-Saver and waste a fun afternoon?

Holy crap, I can see more ideas! I'm really impressed with myself now! I wish I could keep full focus now that I'm running out of ideas, but I'm still working through it, and I'm really beside myself that my imagination is chiming in on its' own now. Yayyyy!

Apr 20, 2011


Crept in a minute late- knew I should set an alarm on my phone.

I could tell that I wasn't gonna have any ideas ofr what to write tonite. I still don't, and don't feel the same flow from the first two nights already. Some of that could be the odd sleeping habits (worn out from the eye doc, etc.) that's left my brain kinda sluggish most the day. Oh well; Rome wasn't built in a day, or something.

A big problem is that there's a lot of conflict. Everyone is human, everyone has their experiences. I've seen 'Write every day, no matter what', and I've seen 'Write when you're inspired'. There's 'develop a lengthy backstory for every character, outline evvery plot detail, and construct every scene', and there's 'structuring leads to rigid boundaries and can restrict you too much'.

So, I've gotta figure where I lie (lay? yay grammar), I know I wanted to start a structured time, to force myself to start writing. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have written what I did last night. Granted it's no work of art or anything worth more than a pretty little blog post, but it's the first real bit of creativity I've done in quite a while. (I think the last was mixing logic and creativity in some coding on Aardwolf, which was long ago now.)

So, we'll say that at least in the time aspect, structure is good.

How about character, plot, etc.? Hmm.... (I'm not writing while I'm thinking this through- is that bad? I should just keep writing, since this is writing time, after all.) I like the idea of a defined character. It's not like things can't be changed, until you end up going into a big long series of novels or something, and even then there's that lovely (sarcastic) little deus ex machina. Especially in the worlds of fantasy, tere's a lot that could go on. Doubly so when we're talking about the immortals themselves that are the ones being documented and interacting with each other.

What would I like to do? Do I really have a focus at this point? I love some of my old ideas, I love playing with gods and their avatars. I remember the spark of creation I wrote way back in high school. But then, where do I go from there?

Plot. Plotty plot plot. How I hate thee. I can figure something out when I need to (I'm surprised I actually got through a kinda-plot with Schpantz)... but this is really where I need some work. What goes on? Conflict, duh... but what kinda conflict?

Do I waste my ability because everything's done? I know everything's not DONE done, but what's original? What will be that spark that makes things different, that would make my writing that much different than someone else's to make it worth the while of reading? I don't see a lot of point in reading the same old thing written by someone else.

So where does that leave me? With a lot of questions. What's my little niche? What should I do about the feelings that I need that niche? Maybe there's more research to be done. I can balance it with school (I mean, it's almost done anyway, and it's not SOOOO difficult to do one last project and a few more bits of homework for that class anyway). I've got quiet time on a regular basis. I've got the ability to write, once I get the idea. So, I guess it's a matter of working on my creativity some more.

There's always the snackdragon. I lost the focus again, like everything else, on that one once I got to the point I'd actually have to start being creative. I'm not that creative. I need to work on creativity. (I'm witty, but my wit is recycled commentary. My other ideas are not 'start from the ground up', they're 'modify idea A into something new'. I don't want to be modifying, I want to create.

Magic/fantasy appeal to me. So does the idea of primitive man, for some reason. Aztec culture. (Hmm. That's too rigid. The ideas are already there, and it's set boundaries.)

Me make pretty drawings with stick. That let others draw their own ideas. Me smart!

Maybe I'll have to pull out the inner caveman and see where that goes. I mean, I know more about what goes on in their minds (well, kinda)- at least compared to a friggin' pair of jeans.

Just need that breakthrough idea. Or, figure out a way to stop with these self-imposed roadblocks. Honestly, I can do this. ...I hope.

(Side note- next time I'm starting a few mins later to go pee beforehand if I have to. Lack of focus baaaad. And, some tell me, fire goooood.)

Apr 19, 2011


Sadly, this is what stuck in my head the most since last night. I'm not 100% sure I'll get the full time outta it, nor what to do with it, but we'll see what happens.

Boy, it sure is dark in here. I always hate how this feels. It's a boring life, ya know- just laying around, all cooped up, waiting for some attention. When I finally get it, it's short-lived, and I get tossed aside soon after.

Oh, hi! I guess I should introduce myself. I'm Schpantz, but you can call me Eugene. I'm not always blue, button occasion I'm kinda hard-pressed to find the good things in life. That is, until I'm finally drawn outta my stuff box- denim a happy camper.

Alright, I'll boot-cut the puns. (Or not. Sorry, I tried.)

Anyway, I don't remember much about my beginnings. I was stiched into existance many, many wash cycles ago. I remember the big, scary, metal machines that growled and whirred as my last bits got pinched together, leathery hands of some human man-handling my young body, until I was carted away in a vast sea of blue confusion, off in some truck to our first foster home.

I'd hang around there for a while, get to know some of my buddies around me. I'm not sure how I got so lucky- most of my friends were a little ways away, stuffed into cubbyholes, piled on top of each other. I got to hang around all day, held by my shoulders, taking in the soft breeze of the stale, recycled air that blew through that home.

Every once in a wihle, I'd get a vacation to the fitting rooms, as I think the humans calle them. It was always a different experience. Some of it was great, like the constant fondling and hugging... and some of it, like some of the smells... are best forgotten. I could always count on one thing, though- at the end of the day, I'd meet some new, interesting friends from foreign lands. We'd get to learn a bit about each other, mingle for a little while, and then be whisked off back home in wait of the process starting all over again.

(By the way, Ty, if you read this and ever wanna hang again, look me up! Drop me a line and we'll find some place to hang out. If you'd rather knot, I understand.)

I got to know all sorts of interesting types back at that home. Friends would come and go on the racks and tables, but for some reason, I always stuck around. As time went by, I started worrying. Was I discolored? Was my button too big?

I was really turning (even more) blue. I was growing tired of hanging around, and started shrugging my shoulders more and more, longing to lay on the table where new arrives came and got adpoted every day. The stale air had lost its appeal, and humidity had worked its way itno the place, too. I'd dealt with a few people that had no idea how much fabric their body really needed, and it was stretching my patience. I felt so tired, so drained, so worn thin, that I expected to break.

Then one day, it finally happened. Again with the bad ideals of who should even bother taking me off the rack! This time, though, it was too much. Squeeze, squeeze, strech, stretch, and finally.... AYYYYIEEEEEE! I heard the tearing as pain wrackde through my being. A chubby finger through one belt look had pulled it totally off as more and more of me was crammed tight with too much human.

But, the pain didn't stop there. The message wasn't received. Another seam burst, and again, blue threads poured out of my sides. Make it stop! Make it stop!

It felt like forever, but I got my wish. Something finally got through to that monstrosity, and they surrendered. I felt one final breeze across my tender rips and tears, before I was dumped unceremoniously to the floor, clumped in a pile like yesterday's trash. Eventually, the pain stopped, and everything faded to black.

I awoke later to a softer handling. Rescued from the cold floor, I was looking forward to the tpicalvisit with my home's various friends again. But, it never came.

*RRRRIIIIIIIIIPPPPPP* "Got the label and UPC, they're marked for a loss. Go 'head and get 'em back, Joe."

That was the last I'd see of that evil place. I returned to where I was born. The scary machines seemed oddly comforting. Hands were all over me, stitching me up, making me feel like new again. Err, well, not new, but a lot better than I felt when I thought my end had come.

I left on another trip, and ended up in a similar foster home. What'd I do to deserve this? ...Except, something was different. The whole place felt different, a sadness and a hurting like the pain I'd gone through, but also a sense of happiness to still be around. This didn't feel like a home, it felt like a shelter. We were all packed in so tight! But, we didn't care.

My stay there was pretty short-lived. I didn't even have time to make many friends before some human found me and took me home. We've done so much together! Baseball games, bike riding, hiking- all sorts of new experiences!

So, I guess I really can't complain too much. Yeah, it's dark and boring in here, but I sometimes forget the grim fate I almost encountered. I've got a few good buddies, and we've alwyas got stories to tell when we're together.

Now, if only we didn't have to endure that bath every week....

Apr 18, 2011

Scribble, scribble.

Trying to start the regularly-writing thing. I've done it before, or more, I've tried to do it before, but I don't think I ever even got to a strctured, "this is when it'll happen, and it'll happen regularly" kinda thing. So, we'll see where it goes.

My mind's all over the place, though. I've got an idea about writing something through the eyes of a Minecraft patron, since I was just playing Minecraft. Dunno why, but a new world I started in was kinda interesting and left me a little side niche of a cave with two entrances, a purty scenic view, and a few nearby deep cavs to explore. Maybe I can make that into a narrative.

I also thought about some quirky story about a pair of magical pants. It would be really boring, sort of- th4ey're just pants, after all, and they're only magical in the fact they can think and realize what's going on. What would it be like to go through the washer and dryer? Being worn out in the rain? The horrors of Mexican food night? Maybe I'll get to that at a later time.

I also have a plotline generator, but it's kinda cheesy. It'd be good for quick exercises, but it's also pretty easy to see what's happening. Like you can get an plumber or nun or manager or group of two or more, and they explore a cave or open a pizza place or something else (out of a list of maybe 10 things). I guess I'll save them for trying to do some writing when I'm completely bone dry of ideas.

(The fact that I thought up sentient pants is sign that my creativity isn't totally dead... I think.)

I'm not at a point to write reasons why I want to write. I'd like to be able to be a writer, but mostly just because I feel like it's a talent, that really isn't being used... and since I don't really have a lot of other talents (that I know of), I figure I might as well make use of the one I have.

Why have I failed before? Will I fail again? I don't know. It's work, it's not fun (yet), and I'm not really one to do something that requires work. I guess that changed some with school this year- I was actually doing my accounting homework, even though it took me 3-5 hours a night, when I didn't have to.

I wanna stay away from the sex stuff. It's too easy. Point A to point B to point C... the end result is pretty much garanteed and guessed based just on the genre. Just not appealing to me any more. Fantasy (like the mages and dragons kind) is really mu niche, but I don't wanna fall right into that, either. If I stick with something else that I'm not really working in comfortably, then going to something comfortable will be easier.

(I am pretty proud that stories I have written were complimented and my Sarah story was said to have a Chronicles of Narnia feel. I guess that musta struck a good chord, cuz that was from my Creative Writing class ... 8 years ago now? I wish that class had inspired more out of me back then.

I won't have the same thing at UWEC, but maybe I can find something along the lines of WritersCafe. Just need to find a community, and then stick to it, get used to the people. I did that with WC but there seemed to be an exodus, and since half of what I was writing was smut, which was okay but not really the most popular thing there, I didn't really stick around forever, or even as long as Icould/should/would have.

(Bing-ba-de-ba-de-ding. Yes, dryer, I know you're done. I heard you singing before. I'll let you sing your happy little tune to me again in a few minutes when I'm done.)

So, my brain and creativity are holding a casting call for ideas. I may have to make my muse my bitch again (I think that story is online somehwere, isn't it?) and get things going. i need to look up stuff at the library or online or something for plot development, get the ideas flowing. I want a roadmap to be able to write something from start to finish (beyond a poem or one story outta 5 started or 50 ideas).

When was the last tim I did this? My old place on Hamilton? Maybe earlier than that. So much time, gone to waste. :( So many afternoons spent wasting away time on Aard or some game, or eating lunch and napping for 2-3 hours while Futurama played in the background. (I can pretty much quote the entire episode of Amazon Women in the Mood, and probably a few others I'm pretty close.)

(Another advantage of writing now... the house doesn't feel so alone and creepy when I'm stuck in my own little world. I dun like the nights alone. It's only 6 (well, 7) hours, but falling asleep alone sucks, espec when you're not used to it and have had someone to sleep next to for ages now.)

Hmm... parrots. Polly wants a cracker, but why? Maurice wants cheese or a treat or human food of any sort (and osmetimes the finger that comes with it on accident), but I don't hear him squawking up a storm over it.)

I can't even follow hte bouncing ball in my mind. I'll hafta filter out some ideas and try to focus on just one tomorrow. I don't mind the chaos of all these thoughts, but I think I'll need to sharpen the focus to get a good, solid bit of writing on any subject. Maybe I'll just end up using the random generator. Maybe I'll make the pants story. We'll see how my mood feels after another day of schoo.... every day is a different story there. Do I get the 'eew, creepy guy, get away' vibe again? Do I get the reminder that I can't do most things the same way as other students do, that it takes me so much longer for stuff I already know?

Running outta staem... with a few minutes to go. Did better than I thought I would for my first real writing attempt (for something other than a paper/school/whatever) in a good, long while. I don't feel good about it, I don't feel like I've accomplished much... yet, at least. Hopefully that'll change as I see the days continue to go by where I keep writing. Maybe I can actually do it this time. Yeah... maybe.

Oh well, time for a donut. Oh, and the dryer. Clean sheets, woohoo!